Thursday, October 14, 2010

A Truly Excellent Examination of Dawn Eden's Thesis

For any of those aware of the discussions about Christopher West's presentations, Dawn Eden has recently received much spotlight for the public release of her thesis critiquing C. West. The following is one of the best analysis' of why her thesis is full of holes and does nothing to discredit C. West. The beautiful thing is that this critique is done by a person who was not familiar with C. West's work prior to being asked to examine D. Eden's thesis; thus this critique holds great weight. I sincerely hope that this is passed onto as many people as possible, especially those who are questioning C. West's work.

An Explanation of Why CERC did not Post Dawn Eden's Thesis


People have been asking me why we haven't posted Dawn Eden's thesis, which was critical of Christopher West, when we have represented ourselves as wanting to be a clearinghouse for reasoned arguments on both sides of this issue.

Please allow me to provide some background.

CERC has played host to eleven articles by Christopher West over the years.

Early in September, 2010, after becoming more aware of the controversy surrounding Christopher West, I decided to remove all of West's articles from CERC.

People who visit CERC consider it a reliable source of Church teaching. I didn't want to be endorsing, simply by hosting those articles, the work of a man who was under a cloud and who perhaps was not representing John Paul II's Theology of the Body as received. I wasn't condemning West. My thinking was to wait and see where things settled out before considering whether to re-post his articles.

However, at our CERC AGM in Vancouver on September 10, I was instructed by the executive board to restore West's articles to the site.

The reasons given by the board were that West had not been found doctrinally unsound by any official ecclesial body. In addition, Christopher West was at that moment on his way to Vancouver to give a course.

His Grace Archbishop Michael Miller of Vancouver is a great supporter of CERC and a very discerning cleric. To remove West's articles in advance of West coming to Vancouver would suggest that, in the judgement of CERC, the Archbishop had been wrong in inviting West.

I was to re-post the articles and it was suggested that CERC play host to both sides of the controversy just to show our readers that disagreements, even vigorous ones, can coexist in the Catholic world and that discussion based on reason and charity can be productive in the cause of truth. (See here.)

Shortly after that, I contacted both Dawn Eden, for permission to post her thesis, and Janet Smith, to post her critique of Eden's thesis, to CERC.

I then sent a copy of the thesis, Janet's response, and Eden's response to Janet's response, to two philosophically minded thinkers I know who also happen to have no dog in this fight. As it turned out, neither had more than a passing familiarity with West's work. That suited my purposes perfectly, as all I wanted them to do was to evaluate the soundness of the evidence, the arguments, and the conclusions before them.

One of these two has asked not to be identified in any of my discussion about this.

He is well known in Catholic circles and, even though he was just responding to the thesis and criticism of it, he didn't want his views to be seen as an endorsement or a criticism of something (the corpus of Christopher West's work) he wasn't extensively familiar with.

Sean Murphy's critique is below. I and our other reviewer, agree with his analysis and conclusions.

Fraser Field
Managing Editor

Dear Fraser:

You have asked for my comments about an editorial problem you now face because of a continuing controversy concerning Christopher West. As I understand the situation, you are considering whether or not CERC should formally take a position with respect to it, and, if so, what that position should be.

Christopher West's work

In the first place, it is important to distinguish taking a position on the controversy from taking a position on the corpus of Mr. West's work, which would certainly be implied in refusing carte blanche to post any of his materials. Such a refusal would be justified on one or more of the following grounds:

(a) a statement by the SCDF or analogous congregation or a bishop in communion with Peter that Mr. West's work is doctrinally unsound;

(b) a statement by the SCDF or analogous congregation that Mr. West's work is being formally reviewed;

(c) a consensus of criticism of his work from reputable scholars with expertise in Church teaching in marriage and sexuality;

(d) public statements or conduct by Mr. West that demonstrate malice toward, dissent from, disregard for or ignorance of the teaching of the Magisterium,

Refusal to post any of Mr. West's materials in the case of (b) and (c) above, in advance of final judgement, would be appropriate because CERC wishes to ensure that readers can have full confidence in all of the materials on its website, which is intended for a general audience.

In the absence of such grounds, there is no reason to treat Mr. West's work differently than any other materials that CERC reviews with a view to posting, and I understand this to be CERC's current policy.

The West-Eden controversy

The current dispute concerning his work is a different matter and has become a problem in its own right. It has been generated by a master's thesis by Dawn Eden that she has made public. Critics of Mr. West include reputable scholars known for fidelity to the Magisterium. However, one also finds reputable scholars known for fidelity to the Magisterium among his supporters. You have asked me to review Dawn Eden's thesis as a first step in addressing the controversy.

The problem

CERC, in service to its readers, cannot ignore a development that touches fundamental aspects of Church teaching and that has become as notorious as the West-Eden controversy. In such cases it is always preferable to avoid engaging in the controversy itself. Instead, one would expect CERC to provide a balanced and thoughtful account of the dispute and refer interested readers to appropriate sources for further information. The issue is whether or not this approach should be taken in this case.


My view is that it is impossible to produce a "balanced account" of a controversy when the position of one of the parties is clearly untenable.

Miss Eden accuses Mr. West of a presentation of theology of the body that is "damaging,"1and "theologically compromised"2 "in its failure to understand continence as it is defined by the traditional teachings of the Church,"3 and that appears "to validate the culture's preoccupation with sex."4 She accuses him of teaching that the deposit of faith is incomplete and that Church doctrine keeps pace with changing times.5

Having read almost nothing of Mr. West's work I cannot rule out the possibility that a case might be made to support one of these accusations. But, having read Miss Eden's thesis, if there is a case to be made, she has not made it. The burden of proof lies on the accuser, and she has failed to discharge it.

Thus, CERC cannot present her thesis as a credible critique, and it would be unjust to do so. On the contrary: in explaining its position on the controversy, CERC would be remiss if it did not draw attention to the flaws in her presentation. It is unfortunate that CERC has been placed in this position by Miss Eden's decision to publicize her thesis and campaign for its acceptance.

I have reached this conclusion by considering (a) what Miss Eden proposes in her thesis and (b) whether or not what she provides by way of evidence supports her claims. This is done without reference to external sources other than the work of Karol Wojtyla/Pope John Paul II on the subject of pornography and art, and the list of Mr. West's materials available on line.

I have done this to avoid the appearance of partisanship or of having been adversely influenced by the writings of Mr. West's supporters.


"Comprehensive overview"

Miss Eden states that in the first chapter of her thesis she provides "a comprehensive overview of Mr. West's presentation of the TOB."6 She means "presentation" to be taken in the broad sense of his interpretation of the writings of Pope John Paul II,"7not only in [Mr. West's] own lectures and writings, but also the presentation he promotes through his training programs at the Theology of the Body Institute, as well as the programs he has developed for parishes, marriage-prep programs, and study groups."8 These materials were produced over a period of about 13 years.9

Miss Eden purports to offer this "comprehensive overview" in about nine double-spaced pages. The overview consists of a summary of ten major themes she claims to have discovered in his presentation, a claim that she supports by quotes from 24 of Mr. West's works.10 However, it is impossible, in nine double-spaced pages, to produce a "comprehensive overview" of the volume of materials produced by Christopher West over a period of 13 years, particularly about a subject as profound as the theology of the body.11 That is a project for a book, not a 77 page thesis.

This conclusion is supported by a closer look at the references Miss Eden provides in Chapter 1. She refers to only three of five books by Mr. West and only one of nine CD/DVD's by him.12In fact, the references in Chapter 1 ignore most of Mr. West's work, including:

  • marriage preparation course (God's Joy Filled Plan for Marriage: 6 DVD's, Couples' Workbook, Instructor's Edition);
  • Studies for Adults (The Gift: Your Call to Greatness: CD/DVD, Student Workbook, Leaders' Guide);
  • An Introduction to Theology of the Body
  • (8 part CD/DVD study guide with Student Workbook and Leaders' Guide);
  • Into the Heart: A Journey Through Theology of the Body
  • (8 DVDs, 16 part study guide, with Student Workbook and Leaders'Guide);
  • Created and Redeemed
  • Starter Kit (Eight parts, 8 hours, 4 DVD's, 5 page study guide)

Thus, she has, contrary to her stated intention and without explanation, neglected virtually all of the materials that ought to have been considered if she wished to produce a comprehensive overview of his training, parish, marriage prep and study group programs. While it is true that 20 of the 24 sources from which she draws provide a selection from his "lectures and writings," Miss Eden does not explain why she has selected them (rather than others) and why it is reasonable to consider them representative of his ‘presentation' - particularly in the absence of evidence from the neglected materials.

Readers who think that these criticisms amount to nothing more than page and footnote counting may be assisted by an analogy. Miss Eden's accusations against Mr. West are analogous to allegations of fraud (false representations) against a businessman, which can only be proved (or disproved) by an examination of all of the books and documents of the business that might have relevant information, combined with statements from all ascertainable witnesses. If the police examined only some of the documents, did not explain why they did not examine all of them, did not explain why they chose to look at some documents rather than others, failed to obtain witness statements, and (apparently) presented only documents unfavourable to the accused, no fair-minded person would agree that the investigation was adequate, or that a conviction for fraud could be fairly based upon it.

The author's claim to have produced a "comprehensive overview" amounts, at best, to wishful thinking. If Chapter 1 is, indeed, an example of what is considered a "comprehensive overview" in a master's programme, I will henceforth think much less highly of masters' degrees.

Erroneous claims

In a footnote in Chapter 1 Miss Eden states that she will show in the succeeding chapter that Mr. West's interpretation of the symbolism of the Paschal Candle "was condemned by the fathers of the Second Vatican Council."13 Anyone who is familiar with Council's 16 documents will recognize at once that this statement is false. Her own references in the following chapter show that clarification on this point did not come from the Council Fathers, but from a commission formed after the Council ended.14 Moreover, while the clarification and other sources cited by Miss Eden demonstrate that Mr. West was mistaken about Paschal symbolism, the guidance issued was explanatory and pastoral; there was no "condemnation."

None of the possible interpretations of this are favourable to Miss Eden. Either she has failed to check her manuscript to correct an obvious and serious mistake that she later detected, or she does not know the difference between documents issued by an ecumenical council and those produced by subsequent Church committees, or she does not understand the difference between correction and condemnation, or she has deliberately or carelessly used exaggerated and inflammatory language, or she has knowingly made a false accusation. These are not the marks of a thesis that warrants affirmation by thoughtful and prudent people.

Lack of evidence

Chapter 1 presents Miss Eden's summary of ten themes that she claims to have found in Christopher West's presentation of theology of the body. These are provided without comment and without evidence that they contradict either Church teaching or the theology of the body as taught by Pope John Paul II.

Thus, in Chapter 2, one would expect to find a coherent account of the Holy Father's theology of the body and a cogent explanation of how each of the ten themes noted in Chapter 1 of the thesis departs from it.

Instead, Miss Eden first offers criticism by Mark Lowery in 2001.15 She acknowledges that Lowery found Mr. West's materials "virtually free from error" and suggested only "fine-tuning" of his presentation. This section, ending with Mr. West's response, does not support Miss Eden's accusations.

She next reports statements that Mr. West made on ABC News "Nightline in May, 2009, and his attempts to clarify them.16 Following this she acknowledges the existence of the controversy that continued following his remarks, citing (without further detail or analysis) essays by recognized Catholic scholars who disagree about the validity of Mr. West's expression of the theology of the body. The section closes with an affirmation of the soundness of Mr. West's presentation by Justin Cardinal Rigali and Bishop Kevin Rhoades.17 Thus, all that is established in this part of the thesis is that Mr. West made some ill-considered remarks on national televison that resulted in a controversy, and that, despite the controversy, representatives of the Magisterium were satisfied with his work. This does not support Miss Eden's accusations.

Next, drawing from the criticism of Dr. David Schindler and referring to the first of her ten themes in Chapter 1, Miss Eden states, "West's overall "preoccupation" indicates "a disordered approach to human sexuality."18 She then summarizes (without comment or analysis) Dr. Schindler's criticisms, and notes that Professors Janet Smith and Michael Waldstein disagree with him. Much of this part is devoted to demonstrating that Mr. West was mistaken about the symbolism of the Paschal Candle.19 All that she succeeds in establishing in this section is that Dr. Schindler's assessment is disputed by Professors Smith and Waldstein, and that Mr. West has made a mistake about liturgical symbolism.

Citing her theme 8, she then states that "West ignores the "objective" presence of concupiscence in the body."20 She goes on to quote Dr. Schindler's criticism and the responses from Professors Smith and Waldstein and from Mr. West himself, once more, without comment or analysis.21 Again, this part of the thesis demonstrates that there is disagreement among reputable scholars about West's understanding of concupiscence, but, nothing is offered to demonstrate the validity of either the accusation opening this section or Miss Eden's global accusations about his ‘presentation.'

Lack of systematic analysis

Since Miss Eden has offered nothing up until this point that supports her accusations, the next part of the thesis, in which she offers her own assessment (p. 32-62), is critical.

Under the heading, "Nuptiality as key to sexual healing" (p. 32-38) Miss Eden offers a critique of Mr. West's most recent book, Heaven's Song: Sexual love as it was meant to be. She asserts that "the basis for his approach to sexual healing" is "his call to ‘holy fascination' with the body and God's plan for sexual union."22 Her subsequent discussion does not demonstrate that she has properly understood Mr. West. Even if she has correctly stated his position, in this section she does no more than raise questions about it; she does not answer them or prove that he is mistaken.

In the next section, headed "Concupiscence and the two bishops"(p. 38-49), Miss Eden draws from four sources by Mr. West, principally his Theology of the Body Explained.23 She begins with the statement that the "key to [West's] understanding of concupiscence" is [his] contention that sexual desire necessarily mediates union with God." It is not clear from anything said previously in the thesis nor in what follows that this is a fair and full statement of his views on the relationship between sexual desire and union with God.

In discussing concupiscence Miss Eden comments upon some of Mr. West's reflections on human freedom and what she portrays as his understanding of the relationship between continence and virtue. However, taking the material precisely as she presents it and looking no further, she fails to demonstrate that one must conclude that "West emphasizes that a couple must advance beyond mere continence prior to marriage."24 Moreover, her claim that Mr. West holds "that John Paul is using a different definition of continence than that of St. Thomas"25 is actually an argument that she develops herself and then attributes to Mr. West as something that he "might" put forward.26

Considering Mr. West's treatment of "occasions of sin" (p. 49-55), Miss Eden introduces an eleventh theme that she neglected to include in the comprehensive overview in Chapter 1: "the association of "mature purity" with a man's ability to actively seek out what would be, for other men, occasions of sin, and – instead of being defiled by them – find in them a source of further purification."27

The only evidence she offers for this "running theme" are stories Mr. West told about two of his personal experiences: one at mass, the other at the beach. It is abundantly clear from both of these accounts – as they are given by Miss Eden – that Mr. West did not "actively seek out" occasions of sin, but turned unsought temptations into opportunities for an increase in grace. It is equally clear – again from Miss Eden's account – that he does not recommend the strategy without appropriate reservations. Despite this, Miss Eden goes on to say:

To the best of my knowledge and research, this idea that one should actively seek out opportunities to engage in a "lively battle" against lust is completely novel in the Church's history. (emphasis added)28

If that is true, then credit for introducing this novel idea belongs to Miss Eden, not Mr. West. Her claim that this is Mr. West's position is contradicted by the only evidence she offers to support it.

Concerning "pornography vs theo-graphy" (p. 55-57), Miss Eden alleges that Mr. West's most serious misinterpretation of the theology of the body is his failure to understand John Paul II's distinction between pornography and legitimate art.29 She further claims that the Holy Father's understanding of modesty "is absent" from his presentation.30

However, her failure to consult most of Mr. West's work precludes reliance on her claim that modesty is absent from it. Further: a comparison of the comments of Pope John Paul II on the subject (of which there are more than those quoted in the thesis)31 to those of Mr. West (provided by Miss Eden) does not inevitably lead to her conclusion. Rather, it becomes apparent that other conclusions are possible, and that her approach to the topic is far too simplistic.

The last section of Chapter 2 is headed "A penchant for promoting problematic pop-culture" (p. 57-62). Here, Miss Eden responds to Mr. West's comments about the Vagina Monologues, pop singer Katy Perry, and the stage play Spring Awakening. It is likely that, on reflection, she would qualify her statement that "exposing naked flesh outside a nuptial context is objectively wrong regardless of whether the artist or the short-skirt wearer "intends" to arouse,"32 since it is inconsistent with the careful consideration of this topic by John Paul II (See note 31). It provides further reason to be cautious in accepting the assessment she offers.

She suggests that Mr. West's responses to these cultural artifacts are too much coloured by a personal reaction against "puritanism," and that they reflect an insufficient awareness of the objective dangers of such entertainment.33 Based on the material she presents here and the reflections of John Paul II (again, see note 31) the suggestion is plausible. However, it is also clear from what she presents that Mr. West was offering an hypothesis about their origins and suggestions about how to turn them into "teachable moments." He was not, as her heading states, promoting the work of the singer or playwrights.

Taking Chapter 2 as a whole, Miss Eden has failed to provide a careful, systematic and detailed analysis of Mr. West's work in light of John Paul II's theology. It does not substantiate her accusations.

Chapter 3

Chapter 3 of the thesis opens with the statement that the preceding chapters showed "that Christopher West's presentation of the theology of the body is compromised by errors and lacunae."(p. 63) Since the preceding chapters did nothing of the sort, and Chapter 3 relies on this claim, it is not necessary to review it.


According to Miss Eden, Mr. West's presentation of the theology of the body

  • is "damaging"34
  • "theologically compromised"35
  • fails to understand continence as it is defined by the traditional teachings of the Church"36
  • appears "to validate the culture's preoccupation with sex"37
  • teaches that the deposit of faith is incomplete and that Church doctrine keeps pace with changing times.38
  • encourages people to actively seek out occasions of sin, and find in them a source of further purification

None of these accusations are demonstrated by her thesis; the last is shown to be a false accusation by the evidence that she presents to support it.

Sean Murphy


1. Thesis, p. 77
2. Thesis, p. 76
3. Thesis, p. 69
4. Thesis, p. 70
5. Thesis, p. 77
6. Thesis, p. 5
7. Thesis, p. ii
8. Thesis, p. 5-6
9. Thesis, p. 10
10. Sources cited in Chapter 1 for the "comprehensive overview" provided in the ten themes:

    1. "What Is the Theology of the Body and Why Is It Changing So Many Lives?"
    2. "The Theology of the Body & The New Evangelization," [accessed January 28, 2010].
    3. "The Pope's Theology of the Body." Catholic Education Resource Center, [accessed February 5, 2010].
    4. "John Paul II's Theology of the Body: Key to an Authentic Marital & Family Spirituality.", [accessed February 5, 2010].
    5. Heaven's Song: Sexual Love as It Was Meant to Be
    6. (West Chester, Penn: Ascension Press, 2008), 43 (emphasis in original).
    7. Theology of the Body Explained
    8. , revised edition (Boston: Pauline Books & Media, 2007), 598.
    9. Good News About Sex and Marriage
    10. , 41
    11. "About the Theology of the Body," (West's official Web site), [accessed February 6, 2010].
    12. "The Redemption of Rock Music," November 9, 2007, [accessed February 6, 2010].
    13. "Interview with Christopher West." Republished by the Catholic Education Resource Network, [accessed January 28, 2010].
    14. "The New Language: A Crash Course in the Theology of the Body."
    15. "The Freedom of the Gift: Priestly Celibacy and Authentic Sexual Liberation."
    16. "ABC News ‘Sensationalized' Theology of the Body, Christopher West Says."
    17. "Theology of the Body: A Compelling, Bold, Biblical Response to the Sexual Revolution." Reprinted on West's official Web site,, [accessed February 2, 2010].
    18. "The Spousal Mystery of Christmas." Syndicated column, December 12, 2008, [accessed February 4, 2010].
    19. "Spousal Prayer Part I." Syndicated column, August 29, 2009, [accessed February 6, 2010].
    20. "Transcript of CS #67: Christopher West Heaven's Song," August 10, 2008, [accessed January 29, 2010].
    21. "An Open Letter to a Concerned Listener."
    22. "A Response to Luke Timothy Johnson's Critique of John Paul II's ‘Disembodied' Theology of the Body." [accessed January 31, 2010].
    23. "Why Do Men Look at Porn? Oprah Viewers Want to Know." Syndicated column, November 18, 2005, [accessed February 2, 2010].
    24. "The Theology of the Body Debate: The Pivotal Question." LifeSiteNews, October 22, 2009, [accessed March 25, 2010].
    25. Theology of the Body Pt 1 S2E9," episode of TV show "Pure Passion" posted to, [accessed February 6, 2010]. The quotation referenced begins at 23:42.
    26. "Christopher West on"
    27. "Reflections on the Song of Songs, Part 1." Syndicated column, June 8, 2007, [accessed February 6, 2010].

11. This conclusion is based on reviews and critques of other documents and materials. Thecritique of a single article by Christopher Hitchens attacking Pope Benedict XVI ran to 9 single-spaced pages with 80 end notes citing over 50 sources. A review of Making Space, Giving Voice, a 65 page curriculum guide intended to implement a homosexualist agenda, was over 100 single-spaced pages long and included over 400 end notes. The list of documents used to produce a 124 page report (also single-spaced) concerning the University of Victoria Student Society's oppression of the campus pro-life club is available on line. Each of these critiques dealt with materials and circumstances far less complex and voluminous than the presentation of the theology of the body by Mr. West.
12. Of the DVD's she refers only to Theology of the Body: a Bold, Biblical Response to the Sexual Revolution. She does not refer to: Purity in an Impure Age: Discovering God's Glorious Plan for Sexuality; Woman, God's Masterpiece: Understanding and Living the Feminine Genius;Proclaiming the Theology of the Body: A Seminar for Priests; Sexual Honesty; Winning the Battle for Sexual Purity; Straight Talk about Sex: A Seminar for Young Adults; Human Love in the Divine Plan: A Theology of the Body Conference; Love, relationships and responsibility: A Message for Teens; The Case Against Same Sex Marriage: Protecting the True Meaning of Marriage. [Ascension Press]() Accessed 2010-10-11)
13. Thesis, note 67, p. 17
14. Thesis, Chapter 2, p. 28 to 30
15. Thesis, p. 22-24
16. Thesis, p. 24-25
17. Thesis, p. 25-27
18. Thesis, p. 27
19. Thesis, p. 27-30
20. Thesis, p. 30
21. Thesis, p. 30-32
22. Thesis, p. 33
23. The others are Heaven's Song: Sexual Love as It Was Meant to Be; A Response to Von Hildebrand on Sexuality; Theology of the Body: the Pivotal Question.
24. Thesis, p. 44
25. Thesis, p. 47
26. Thesis, p. 44-45
27. Thesis, p. 50
28. Thesis, p. 52
29. Thesis, p. 55-56
30. Thesis, p. 57
31. Wojtyla, Karol, Love and Responsibility. San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1981, p. 189-193. John Paul II, "The Human Body: Subjects of Works of Art." General Audience, 15 April, 1981, p. 269-275; "Reflections on the Ethos of the Human Body in Works of Artistic Culture."General Audience, 22 April, 1981, p. 276-282; "Art Must Not Violate the Right to Privacy." General Audience, 29 April, 1981, p. 283-289; Ethical Responsibilities in Art. General Audience, 6 May, 1981, p. 290-297. In Daughters of St. Paul, Blessed of the Pure of Heart, Boston: St. Paul Editions, 1983.
32. Thesis, p. 58
33. Thesis, p. 62
34. Thesis, p. 77
35. Thesis, p. 76
36. Thesis, p. 69
37. Thesis, p. 70
38. Thesis, p. 77


Sean Murphy "An Explanation of Why CERC did not Post Dawn Eden's Thesis." Catholic Education Resource Center (October 13, 2010).

Printed with permission of the author Sean Murphy.


Sean Murphy is a Catholic layman. He retired from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police in 2009 after almost 35 years' police service. Over the years he was described by superiors as a "tenacious," "conscientious" and "meticulously thorough" investigator.

Mr. Murphy has made a special study of the documents of the Second Vatican Council and Catholic teaching on sexuality and marriage. His paper on the nuptial meaning of the Eucharist was among three chosen for presentation at the 1993 conference of the Canadian Fellowship of Catholic Scholars, and later published in the conference proceedings. His articles have appeared in Catholic periodicals, including the BC Catholic, Catholic Insight magazine and theJournal of the Fellowship of Catholic Scholars (Canada). Others are posted on the Internet at the Catholic Education Resource Centre, Catholic Exchange and the Catholic Civil Rights Leaguewebsite. His comments and responses to attacks on religious freedom and Catholic teaching have appeared in the media, including some BC community papers, the Vancouver Sun, The Province, Xtra West, the Ottawa Citizen, Halifax Daily News, the BC Catholic, and Christian Week.

Copyright © 2010 Sean Murphy

Friday, March 12, 2010

Clueless about Love

As seen on

Apparently, lust is not out of fashion. Sure, it’s been around since the time of Adam and Eve’s dubious deed. But I’m always fascinated by how it’s re-packaged.

Take the recent winter Olympics. They’ve come and gone, and America did pretty well in the medal category. To much of the unsuspecting public, the events appeared to be very family friendly and were good, clean fun. What most people didn’t know is that inside the veritable fortress called the Olympic Village, in which the Olympiads are basically prisoners in their own castle, there is a much darker side.

For years, the athletes train and sacrifice for their one shot at glory, and after they compete in their event, they are able to let their hair down. But apparently, they also let their zippers down.

For among the nearly 7,000 athlete and officials, 100,000 condoms were distributed to them free of charge. That comes out to about 14 condoms per person. Yet, what’s most remarkable is that the Canadian Foundation for AIDS (CANFAR) had to fly-in an “emergency” supply of 8,500 condoms, “much to the relief of [the] libidos of the Olympic Villiage.”

Apparently, they have been handing these out like candy since the Games in Barcelona in 1992. But this is the first time they’ve nearly run out.

Rewind to 2008 where the Chinese also provided 100,000 condoms at the Summer Olympics in Beijing. Their reasoning? “There are many young, strong, single people in the athletes’ village and, like everywhere, some will fall in love or other things so we need to make condoms available.”

Certainly maybe some people will have the experience of what they think love is. But I think it’s the “other things” of why this condom supply is needed. In the words of Matt Syed, commenting on his experience of the “sex fest” called the Olympics:

There were the gorgeous hostesses – there to assist the athletes – in their bright yellow shirts and black skirts; there were the indigenous lovelies who came to watch the competitions. And then there were the female athletes – literally thousands of them – strutting, shimmying, sashaying and jogging around the village, clad in Lycra and exposing yard upon yard of shiny, toned, rippling and unimaginably exotic flesh. Women from all the countries of the world: muscular, virile, athletic and oozing estrogen. I spent so much time in a state of lust that I could have passed out.

Ah, so here’s the real truth. The distribution of thousands of prophylactics was never about love in the first place. It was always about satisfying unbridled lust.

To much of the modern world, they don’t even bat an eye at this situation. They think this is normal. They think its “normal” to distribute “extra-small” condoms so that 12-14 year-old boys can indulge their lusts. They think its “normal” that at the World Cup this summer in South Africa will distribute one billion condoms, with 42 million of them being shipped from Britain, so that the 45,000 visitors from foreign countries can entertain themselves with the 42,000 prostitutes being shipped in.

It should come as no surprise that when John Paul the Great made the statement that husbands do not have permission to lust after their wives, the media went berserk on him. In their eyes, he’s the abnormal one (as one commentator put it, “I’m not sure what you Italians do with your wives, but we Americans, we lust after our wives.”)

For the vast majority of the modern world, they see no difference between love and lust. Just check the latest Cosmo and you’ll never see the word “love” anywhere on the cover. For they truly believe, with the whole of their libido, that this is the way the world is, and this is the way its supposed to be, that if you love someone, you swap bodily fluid with them, have a 30-minute “intimate” relationship with them, and then move on.

The problem is: it’s not normal. The way things are is not the way it’s supposed to be.

For the problem with all this excessive use of latex is not just that condoms break and slip off, age, deteriorate in even the best of conditions, can be broken in their packages, have allowable rates of manufacturing defects, the 10 to 16 step process for safe usage is often not followed, or that bodily secretions can get around and over a condom even if it performs perfectly.

The main problem is that there’s no condom for the heart. For the human person was created to make a sincere gift of himself (Cf. GS 24), a.k.a. to love. If he is going to be fulfilled, he has to pour out the whole totality of himself, not holding anything back. The human person is made for love, and we have a duty to always see every person as someone to love, and not as an object to use. Lust always reduces a person down to almost the level of an object (we say almost because a person can never lose their inherent dignity as a beloved son or daughter of God). An act of lust can never be an act of love because the two are polar opposites, for when a person becomes an object of use, love is sure to grow cold.

The sexual act speaks the language that I give myself totally to the other person. In our heart of hearts, we want to fully give ourselves and fully receive another. We don’t want a wall up between ourselves and the other, especially in this most intimate act. And when someone is holding something back, even if a verbal agreement is made, somehow, someway, it is going to affect the relationship it a very negative way. The generations of those who have contracepted have left behind a legacy of divorce that witnesses to the damaging effects this has had upon the fundamental relationship of marriage.

If sexual desire becomes merely expression of the urge to merge, then the total gift of self becomes compromised in an act of using another person for one’s own selfish gratification. In other words, love is replaced by lust. And if what we’re doing is not love, then we’re not going to be satisfied. And this is exactly why the modern world, in the words of Mick Jagger, can’t get no satisfaction.

When Jesus talks about lust, he wasn’t being a joy kill. He wasn’t trying take away our fun. He was trying to point to the fact these erotic fantasies won’t ever quench our desires for eternal love. Most importantly, He was trying to show us that there is a different way to feel, think, and act that is in accordance with our dignity and what will truly satisfy, long after the one-night stand has ended.

Maybe after all those condoms have been distributed, and all those hearts have been broken, people will start to wake up that the old way of “wham, bam, thank you ma’am” just isn’t working. Maybe they’ll try another way. Maybe, just maybe, they’ll get a clue.

Steve Pokorny, the Director of TOB Ministries (, specializes in speaking to youth and young adults about the gift of their sexuality. Steve has an MA in Theology and Catechetics from Franciscan University of Steubenville, an MTS from the John Paul II Institute for Marriage and Family Studies, and has received training from the Theology of the Body Institute. He currently serves as Associate Director of the Office of Marriage and Family in the Archdiocese of San Antonio. He is Associate Editor for Catholic Exchange's Theology of the Body Channel (, and his blog is He is married and lives in San Antonio. You can contact Steve at

Friday, February 05, 2010

Looking for Love at 1:45 a.m.

February 3rd, 2010 by Steve Pokorny · Edit Print This Article Print This Article ·ShareThis

In all the commotion of Christmas preparation and celebration of the birth of Christ, which is often a time of great joy and peace for many, for some it is a time of heartache, seemingly lost, looking for the love that truly satisfies.

Take the case of Hayden Wright. On December 15th, he was picked up by the cops in Chattanooga, Tennessee, at 1:45 a.m. He was drunk, found wandering the neighborhood in a brown dress, and had stolen 5 Christmas presents from one of his neighbors.

While interesting, what’s most newsworthy is that Hayden is a four year-old boy.

Yes, you read that correctly. Upon first seeing this story, I thought, surely, it must be a joke, something ripped from the pages of The Onion. But reading more closely, I realized this was a deadly serious situation and most certainly heartbreaking. For it is not just important that this happened to little Hayden, but why it happened.

About the time that Hayden was picked up going drag through the neighborhood with a half-finished can of Bud Light in his hand, his mother, April Wright, had woken up in a panic, alarmed that her son was not in the house. She realized that one of the safety devices that was to prevent her kids from leaving the house had been broken, and she feared for the safety of her son. And apparently, this was not Hayden’s first time in trying to get into trouble with the law.

When his mother April was questioned as to why Hayden got out of the house, she responded: “He runs away trying to find his father…He wants to get in trouble so he can go to jail because that’s where his daddy is.” While this story turned out alright, as Hayden is OK and child services is allowing him to remain with his mother, I believe that this event can serve as a small window into the bigger picture of our culture.

I believe little Hayden is just like all of us. All we want to do is find our Daddy. We’re all looking for our Father. If he’s not in the house, we’re going to try and go looking for him. It doesn’t matter if there are locks on all the doors, we’ll break through them if we have to.

The problem is not the fact that we are desiring to be with our Father. The problem is that we often times don’t realize exactly that we’re really looking for Him, and thus we will often do seemingly insane (literally: out of our mind) things to try and get what we’re really looking for.

I think Bono said it right: so many of us still haven’t found what we’re looking for.

And what is it that we really want? What is the thing that drives us most crazy, what is it that is found (in various distorted forms) in all of our movies, television shows, magazines, billboards, etc.?

Love! As the Scriptures tell us, “God is love” (1 John 1:1), and God along with being Son and Spirit, is Father. He truly desires what is best for us and wants us to come to participate in His own divine Life (cf. 2 Pet 1:4).

Certainly, some have grown up with their father in the home. And some reading this may have had spectacular fathers who have faithfully raised them and their siblings.

Yet sadly, those with attentive, loving fathers have been far and few between. We are living in a society that is, by and large, fatherless. The situation of Hayden is not uncommon, and many of the boys growing up learn what it means to be a man from their father. And that’s not good news for the rest of us.

For the truth behind masculinity is that every man is called to reveal God the Father. We have a duty to enflesh this mystery of all-encompassing Love. Every man is called to image this Love to everyone he meets, especially his sons and daughters.

If our dad is like Hayden’s father, we’re going to grow up in a world lost, questioning whether love really exists.

And this is the main problem of our culture. As Venerable John Paul the Great said,

Man cannot live without love. He remains a being that is incomprehensible for himself, his life is senseless, if love is not revealed to him, if he does not encounter love, if he does not experience it and make it his own, if he does not participate intimately in it. (Redemptor Hominis 10)

If we don’t find the real love that satisfies, we will go from one door to the next to the next, trying to satiate this ache in our heart.

Because our sexual desire is so rooted in our search for love, if we have not experienced real love, we will end up using our sexuality in ways that don’t correspond with our dignity, nor will we end up fulfilled. We may end up walking around in drag. We may try to find love in pornography. We may try to be satisfied in the arms of a member of the same sex.

If it is not the real deal, we won’t be satisfied. For our sexuality speaks the language of a total giving and total receiving. If our gift cannot be totally given and received, we will end up frustrated, alone, and ashamed. Like little Hayden, We will “medicate” those wounds with drugs and alcohol and more empty sexual experiences. We will end up doing things that hurt ourselves and others.

So many of us think there is no one who can truly satisfy this thirst inside, and like little Hayden, we aren’t patient, but we break into the hearts of others, stealing the gift that they have not freely offered. Just ask anyone who has had a one-night stand, if they’re truly honest with themselves, they’ll admit that the hope they had for a total life long union has become an empty fantasy.

But the Good News is that Love has come:

“…Someone exists who holds in His hands the destiny of this passing world; Someone who holds the keys to death and the netherworld (cf. Rev 1:18); Someone who is the Alpha and the Omega of human history (cf. Rev. 22:13) –be it the individual or collective history. And this Someone is Love (f. 1 Jn 4:8, 16) – Love that became man, Love crucified and risen, Love unceasingly present among men…He alone can give the ultimate assurance when He says “Be not afraid!” (JPG, Crossing the Threshold of Love, 222)

Thus at the1:45 a.m. searches in our own life, let us be not afraid and come to the One who can bring us to the arms of our Father.

This article originally appeared on

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Suffering as a Gift from God

November 25th, 2009 by Steve Pokorny · Edit Print This Article Print This Article ·ShareThis

I write to announce great joyful news: my grandmother passed away last week. How is this great and joyful news?She was 93, had been in a nursing home for the past six years, and because of her long suffering, there is a very good chance, especially since of her steadily declining health over the past year, that she went most likely skipped right over purgatory and fell into the arms of Jesus.

To be honest, I have a holy jealousy of her. I firmly believe that if I am faithful to the gifts that Christ has given to me, when I draw my final breath, I will be invited into the Wedding Feast that has been promised from all eternity, where all that is masculine will be united with all that is feminine, and joined with Christ the Bridegroom. It will be an eternal embrace that will never end, where we will see Love face to face. All will be known by all, and there will be peace and joy forevermore.

However, there is one major stipulation: It must be my time to go. Not on my time, but by God’s watch.

Throughout human history, since Adam and Eve, there has been the temptation to want to take the powers of life into our own hands. There is the insidious idea that is floated through our fallible minds that if we manipulate things to our liking, then things will just go better. Or so we think.

Take the issue of euthanasia that is ramping up its exposure. From a recent Discovery Institute article entitled “Suicide Radicalism Surges in America,” we read that “Doctor” Philip Nischke of Australia “has brought his suicide seminar to California and Washington State, where he taught all comers how they can make themselves dead.” His logic (albeit misguided) leads him to “if we each own our bodies, he says, and if self-termination is an acceptable answer to human suffering, then assisted suicide shouldn’t be restricted to limited “subgroups” such as the terminally ill.”

“Dr. Phil” would be correct if our bodies were merely an instrument, something that is separate from ourselves. Yet this is the same trouble that dear fellow Descartes got himself into.

We must remember that in our creation as being made in the image of God, we are the only persons who have both a material and a spiritual existence. The Trinity, as Divine Persons, and angels have only a spiritual nature. We, as human persons, have both a body and a soul. Thus, to speak as though our bodies are merely something we have is incorrect. Instead, it is more precise say that “we are our bodies.”

Why is this distinction important? If we simply “have” our bodies, then we are free to manipulate it any way we please. In addition, if our body is just a thing that is merely loosely associated with our souls, and if our souls are our true identity, then if we destroy our bodies, it really doesn’t matter.

However, John Paul in his Theology of the Body makes explicitly clear that the body is supremely importantly, precisely because the body expresses the person. If we aren’t in our bodies, in a very real sense, we are not fully ourselves. Even though we lose our bodies after we die, we are promised that every person who says yes to the promises of Christ is to receive a resurrected body. Most importantly, because the God of the universe, the One who gives the ultimate meaning to everything, took on human flesh, the body is thus elevated to its pre-eminent position.It is in and through the Incarnation that every human body is given its true dignity.

While it is true that the human body inevitably breaks down and often doesn’t function the way that we may want, it is crucial to realize that suffering is a part of life. If we are going to live, we are going to suffer. More importantly, if we are to love, we are going to suffer. As Blessed Mother Teresa has said, “suffering is a bi-product of love.”

So many who are a part of the eugenic movement simply don’t get what life and love is all about, and they especially don’t understand what Christianity is all about. Especially in a culture that believes that the way to true happiness is centered on one’s own self-satisfaction, when suffering inevitably comes about, there is the temptation to want to rid ourselves of this experience.

Yet without suffering and sacrifice, we miss the glory. As Bill Donaghy has written, “Suffering can set us free. Crying out can often lead to a catharsis. Sorrow affords us a chance to struggle and squirm our way out of the black cocoon of self and into the wide expanse of the world of the Other.” It is in and through suffering that we can discover what life is all about, for ultimately it is not suffering simply for suffering’s sake, but for the sake of love.

We see this most profoundly on the cross. Christ gives Himself to us in a pouring out of His own blood, offering up His Body as a sincere gift. He did this to bring us back to Love. He makes it clear that if we are to be fulfilled, we must make a sincere gift of ourselves (cf. GS 24), and this often comes through the carrying of our cross.

Yes, it is true that we do not want to suffer, because it hurts, but we must understand that it is oftentimes through the moments of great suffering that the greatest meaning about the mysteries of life are revealed. As formerly Cardinal Ratzinger wrote in Introduction to Christianity:

From the point of view of the Christian faith, man comes in the profoundest sense to himself not through what he does but through what he accepts. He must wait for the gift of love, and love can only be received as a gift… One must wait for it, let it be given to one. And one cannot become wholly man in any other way than by being loved, by letting oneself be loved… If he declines to let himself be presented with the gift, then he destroys himself.

The process of death, like birthing pains, if viewed within the paradox of the cross, is a profound gift of God. We, who are Bride, are called to receive all that our Bridegroom wants to give to us. Through unification with Christ, the process of dying is a form of the wooing that God does in preparation to unite Himself to us in the Wedding Feast that will never end.

For six years, my grandmother was in a nursing home, and my aunt tended to her care faithfully, visiting her almost everyday for about 3 hours. As can be imagined, this certainly caused suffering for both my grandmother and aunt. And I am sure the question was asked by my aunt as to why, in her late 80s, she was still hanging around, waiting for her reward. Although we may never know the answer on this side of eternity, I truly believe that it was a gift that God was presenting to my family, demonstrating that Love was present in the midst of these difficulties.

When we try to take the powers of life into our hands, we escape this process of letting ourselves be loved. If we do not allow Love in all its grandeur to infect us, we cannot be transformed into love. If we cannot love, we can never fulfill the meaning of our being and existence. It is only by entering into this process, which at first glance, only looks like pain and grief, that we are purified to become the gift that we were destined to become.

This originally appeared on Catholic Exchange's Theology of the Body Channel,