Saturday, May 30, 2009

the opposite of lying

(This is from an excellent blog post....http://www.whoisjohngalt.com/2009/05/the-opposite-of-lying.html)

Note: I don't mean to dwell on abortion here, but there have been a couple of interesting stories about this issue in the news recently. So I'm going to cover it one more time, and then I'm going to put it to bed for a while until it appears in the headlines again.

If you're like most people, then you probably think the opposite of lying is truthfulness.

If I say "yes" when I know the truth is "no," then I am lying. But if a liar says "yes" when the answer is "yes," it doesn't mean he is not a liar. Lying, you see, is not about being untruthful -- it is about controlling the information a person receives, distorting reality, so that they act on flawed facts. It is about making another person your own means to an end. This is the reason fraud ranks right up there with force as an enemy of reason. And it is why we should expect a liar to say "yes" when it's the answer that suits him best. He's not concerned with being untruthful; he's concerned with controlling your actions by altering the information you use to make decisions.

Because of this, I am not satisfied calling mere truthfulness the opposite of lying. The opposite of lying, to me, is being informative.

Yesterday I saw this: States passing bills requiring ultrasounds prior to abortions. This is actually brilliant, not because of how it will influence women's decisions, but because of how it tests the liberal position on abortion.

A fetus, women are told, is just tissue. If you believe that is a lie, you might think the remedy is to deny it. This law is different -- it says: "See for yourself." And liberalism has a problem with this, not because it refutes their "tissue" argument, but because it truly allows a woman to make an informed choice. And here you thought they were protecting a woman's right to choose. Are you so sure?

Similarly, abortion activists are suing states over specialty license plates with slogans like "Choose Life." Tell me, if you wanted to make abortion "safe, legal and rare," do you think choosing life more would make abortion rarer? I do.

The truth is that we've been told that one side is about life, while the other side is about choice. When I see the life side clobbering the choice side by espousing choice, it puts the choice side in a very uncomfortable position of having to face what it is they really seek. And that's a lot like looking into a baby's face and calling it tissue.

So what does liberalism really seek, with regard to abortion? Well, it seeks what it always wants: a way to escape the consequences of irresponsible action by shifting some cost (in this case a very brutal and violent one) -- onto an innocent, but politically unrepresented, minority. And it relies on misrepresentations like "it's just tissue," to garner support from people who simply don't know better. Liberalism relies on lying.

Consider the source.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Letting a Man be a Man

This is an excellent post from Anthony Buono, one of the writers on Catholic Exchange's TOB Channel (tob.catholicexchange.com). It really lays out the distinctions b/w man and woman, and that women shouldn't expect a man to be a man. This, however, doesn't mean that a man should not allow Christ to form him, because we all have a need to grow into more of who we were created to be.

Friendship from a Man
Posted At : April 29, 2009 11:50 AM | Posted By : Anthony Buono
Related Categories: Theology of the Body,Dating

Women have an uncanny ability to make friends and be a friend. A good way to put it is that women are, by nature, inclined to care. Specifically, women care about people. They intuitively are capable of entering into the inner reality of human beings. This makes them capable of friendship.

It does not surprise anyone that women make friends with other women so easily. They show interest in each other. They enjoy the sharing of personal information. They pursue with sincerity knowing more about the person behind the external presentation.

Men, on the other hand, are primarily interested in the outer world. By nature, men focus on the “what” more than the “who” in life. Of course, I am not saying that men don’t have the ability to “care”. I’m only pointing out that women have an easier time at friendship than men do. Men get to know each other through actions rather than conversation. They do not sit down and start sharing what’s going on inside or their likes and dislikes. They just act, and they talk within situations, and knowledge about that man is revealed as he goes along. That is why men are much more transparent than women. You can know what a man is thinking or what he wants because he externalizes himself. Women keep things hidden inside and are hard to read externally.

Why is this so important to consider? It is because in dating relationships and in marriage, there can be an overstressing by women to have a man be their “best friend” at a level that is probably unrealistic. I’m all for friendship in courtship and marriage, but the friendship required for marriage needs to be defined and understood. It cannot be understood to mean that a woman will be getting someone she can converse with anytime she wants and about anything.

To really get to know any person, there must inevitably be spoken conversation. The reason is that you can never “really” know what someone is thinking or experiencing at the personal level, or why they did something, unless they speak about it. Actions may very well reveal truths about a person, but actions do not provide all the information about the whole person. So men do have to talk and be able to make conversation with a woman. He can’t just be too shy and not a talker at all.

By definition, a person is a being who acts. So what someone does speaks about who they are. However, as human beings, we have a fallen human nature that inclines us to sin. And, in fact, we all sin every day. Should our sinful actions be what defines us as a person? It would be unfair to do so, because everyone is entitled to the freedom to fall from grace and be forgiven and given another chance. How we recover from these falls tells much more about the person. Obviously, someone who keeps doing the same things over and over again is probably unlikely to stop doing them. So actions should be judged over time, rather than in moments.

This is the courtesy men desperately need from women today because men are more action-oriented than women. Therefore, men are prone to do more stupid things than women. Men need the benefit of the doubt from a woman if he is ever going to risk the level of friendship that women want.

Women have to understand, however, that men typically do not “need” the kind of deep friendship that women want. This is why it is important for women to have close female friendships. There are needs women have at the friendship level that should not be expected from a man. I realize that there is an ideal in modern marriage that a man and a woman be best friends, but this must not distract from the practical aspects of the vocation to marriage in the eyes of God. The two become one flesh, but not one person. There will always be two unique individual persons in a marriage, which means the personhood of both will always be developing and forming. The friendship bond in marriage provides love, security, sacrifice, and interest in the other’s good and welfare. In this friendship they cannot help but grow closer together.

But it is impossible for a man to fulfill a woman completely, nor a woman to fulfill a man completely. First and foremost, only God can completely fulfill any person. That’s a given. But also, people need other people to continue making them the whole person they are called to be. Some couples have terrible problems dealing with what the other does outside of themselves. There is a possessiveness that makes them hate when the person they are dating or married to does something without them or doesn’t tell them everything they expect to hear. They feel betrayed because they believe that true love means you do every single thing together and only share everything with just that one person. They also do not like it if anything they talk about together is shared with anyone else.

This is not what marital friendship is. Friendship does not mean possessing every single bit of information about the other, nor doing every single thing together or else love is not true or real. There are couples who do happen to have that. But many good couples have ended their relationships because they didn’t have this. And that is wrong. Women will find it difficult to find a man who desires to tell her everything and wants to do everything with her. Some men might be like that but most are not. Men definitely have to open up more to women, but women definitely have the need of a friend they can open their heart to; to talk about everything. Typically, women find this in another woman. That’s why there are so many happy marriages where each spouse has their same-sex friends. These friendships outside the couple enhance the person and make them better spouses to each other.

Women must not put so much pressure on a man to be a conversational friend they need. But men do need to talk more to women. Women need to have conversation. They need to know what’s going on inside. Many times a man does not even know himself enough inside to share himself. Women must be patient about that.

Don’t give up on a good man who defines who he is by his actions. Just because he does not talk as much as you would like does not mean he would not make a good husband and father. Make sure you have friends who make you a better person, and take that betterment and bring it faithfully into dating and marital friendship.

Friday, April 24, 2009

The March of the 'Tolerant' Gay Agenda

Connecticut has just fallen. D.C. is next. And every other state is on the radar. At least not every Bishop is remaining silent. Let us pray for our Catholic brothers and sisters to stand up and defend the truth about the dignity of men and women, as well as find our own voices to enter this battle for our civilization.


WITHOUT A DOUBT

“Rhode Island, Most Catholic State, Welcomes Gay Marriage”

That’s a headline we haven’t seen yet, dear readers, but probably will in the next couple of years. And, make no mistake about it – that’s exactly what the headline will say as the story makes its way around the state and across the nation.

The march toward gay marriage across our nation is relentless, and liberal New England is leading the way. The supporters of gay marriage in Rhode Island are well-organized and well-funded. They’re fiercely determined to impose their politically correct agenda on all the citizens of the state – human history, culture and moral principles not-withstanding. Anyone who opposes them is quickly labeled a bigot.

And what’s the typical response of Catholics in Rhode Island? “As long as it doesn’t affect me, I really don’t care what other people do,” you say. “We shouldn’t judge other people,” you demur. “The Church is losing its influence. I don’t think there’s anything we can do,” you rationalize.

Well, my friends, gay marriage will affect you and you should be concerned. And there’s a lot we can do. But first, let’s review the principal reasons why we’re opposed to gay marriage.

First is our firm belief – based on the natural law, the Bible and consistent religious tradition – that homosexual activity is unnatural and gravely immoral. It’s offensive to Almighty God. It can never be condoned, under any circumstances. Gay marriage, or civil unions, would mean that our state is in the business of ratifying, approving such immoral activity. And as I’ve written previously: “The state shouldn’t be placed in that position, and as a citizen of the state I don’t want that imposed on me and my conscience. Neither should you.”

Second is the fact that gay marriage seeks to radically redefine the most fundamental institution of the human race, the building block of every society and culture. From the beginning, marriage has been defined as the stable union of man and woman, designed by God to continue the human race through the procreation of children. Homosexual relationships are not marriage – never have been, never will be.

Here let me explain the “champagne principle.” Not every wine is champagne. Champagne has certain very specific, universally recognized characteristics. If someone were to take a bottle of Chianti, label and sell it as champagne, they’d be arrested for fraud. In the same way, those who seek to redefine marriage – with its specific characteristics – and to usurp the title “marriage” for their morally bankrupt relationships, are committing an act of fraud. It’s insulting to those who have entered the authentic, sacred and time-honored institution of marriage over the years.

The gay culture continues to seep into our popular culture, cleverly claiming credibility. Did you see that President Obama issued special invitations to gay families to participate in this year’s Easter Egg Hunt at the White House? Just another not-too-subtle attempt to ignore the objective immorality of the situation and present gay couples as normal and happy as every other couple.

The third way in which gay marriage will affect you is its impact on religious freedom, including that of the Catholic Church.

A recent headline in the Washington Post demonstrates the problem: “Faith groups losing gay rights fights.” It goes on to give some examples of how the gay agenda is imposing itself on religious beliefs: a Christian photographer in New Mexico was fined because she refused to photograph a gay couple’s commitment ceremony; Christian doctors in California were obliged to artificially inseminate a lesbian patient; A Christian student group was punished because it denied membership to anyone involved in sex outside of marriage.

We’re familiar with other examples of the gay agenda infringing on religious freedom. In Massachusetts, the Catholic Church was required to place children for adoption with gay couples; and in some countries, clergy preaching the Christian doctrine about homosexual practices have been accused of hate crimes.

Proponents of gay marriage say that the Church won’t be forced to witness such marriages. Don’t believe it. And other related problems will inevitably arise. Will the Church be required to admit gay couples as sponsors for baptisms; to rent its facilities for gay wedding receptions; to hire employees despite their immoral gay lifestyles; to grant family benefits to gay couples? For simply maintaining its teachings in these and many other possible scenarios, the Church will be accused of bigotry and unlawful discrimination. The threat to our religious freedom is real, and imminent.

The fact that Rhode Island has successfully avoided the gay marriage phenomenon is a credit to our Governor, the Speaker of the House and the President of the Senate. They – along with a number of other legislative leaders – have been consistent and courageous in deflecting the onslaught of gay activists and in upholding the traditional definition of marriage. We hope and pray they’ll continue to do so.

“The Church is losing its influence,” you say, “and there’s nothing we can do.” “Bull feathers,” I reply. I don’t know if we have 600,000 Catholics in the state or 500,000 or 400,000. But if even ten percent of our Catholic population got actively involved in this issue – even five percent – we could have an enormous impact and help Rhode Island maintain its moral sanity.

Lots of things you can do about this issue. First, you can be aware of the legislation as it’s introduced in the General Assembly. You can contact your state senator and representative and insist that they oppose gay marriage and defend marriage and family values. You can exert your influence with letters to the editor and calls to talk shows. You can join and support organizations like NOM-RI that’s leading the charge on this issue. And you can pray fervently that God will help us in this critical struggle on behalf of morality and common sense.

The Church teaches us that it’s the responsibility of the laity to get involved in public life, to transform the secular order into the Kingdom of God. Therefore, if someday a headline reads, “Rhode Island, Most Catholic State, Welcomes Gay Marriage,” people across the nation will ask, “How did that happen?” And it’ll be our fault, fellow Catholics – not necessarily because we approved of gay marriage – but simply because our abysmal apathy allowed it to happen.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Do Homosexuals Actually Exist?

April 10th, 2009 (As seen on tob.catholicexchange.com)

In the Western world, there is radical push for the normalization of same-sex attraction. Commonly called homosexuality, it is believed that this is something inherent in a person’s nature, even going so far as to say that they are “born this way.” In this very brief examination, we will a) answer the claim of whether same-sex attraction is genetic or if it comes from a variety of environmental factors; and if it is not genetic, b) the keys to bring healing and freedom to men and women with same-sex attraction.

The Language Game

In order to correctly address the topic of same-sex attraction (SSA), we must first clarify our terms. One of the main aspects that polarizes the debate over homosexuality is that of language. Dale O’Leary puts it perfectly:

In public-policy debates, language is crucial…For example, although there is no universal agreement about the definition of homosexual (does it refer to certain desires, or behaviors, or convictions, or some combination thereof?), gay activists act as if it were a scientifically designated category of human beings. They have taken further advantage of this ambiguity, always seeking to influence public opinion, by carefully choosing words that fame the issue in their favor. They have eschewed the nineteenth-century term homosexual, for instance, and insisted on using gay and lesbian to refer respectively to men and women who A) identify themselves with their sexual attraction; and b) identify with the gay political agenda.

The language of sexual orientation and “sexual minorities” has also expanded to include bisexuals, transsexuals, transgenders, and transvestites. And thus, the entire constituency is today summed up in the acronym GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender) or, alternatively, LGBT. Some also like to refer to themselves as “queer,” although others find this term insulting when used by non-members of their community.

However, none of these categories adequately describes all persons with same-sex attraction (SSA): for example, those who have never acted on it. Neither do these categories include those with SSA who don’t identify with the gay agenda. For this reason, I find “persons with SSA” to be the broadest and most accurate terms, if a somewhat cumbersome one. I try to avoid using the word homosexual as a noun, or for that matter heterosexual, because these terms create the impression that human beings can be neatly divided into categories based on their patterns of sexual desire. People are either male or female. Patterns of sexual attraction are not their identity and, in fact, can be quite fluid over time…I prefer to refer to them simply as men and women. (Dale O’Leary, One Man, One Woman: A Catholic’s Guide to defending Marriage, (Sophia Institute Press: United States of America, 2007), 23-24.)

Thus in addition to ceasing to use the term “homosexual,” we should stop using the term “heterosexual” as well, due to the fact that this is a politically charged word, for when the term “homosexual” is used, it is often understood to be merely another option in which a person expresses their sexuality genitally. This thus paves the way for a plethora of sexual “inclinations.”

Furthermore, O’Leary argues that the term gender should not be used either. According to the social constructionist ideology,

“biological sex might be a given, but “gender” – one’s perception of self – is a social construct and therefore can be changed…This deconstructing of “gender” oppression is behind the Radical Feminist war on marriage, motherhood, and their fanatical support for lesbianism and abortion on demand…Although most Americans are comfortable with “gender” as a synonym for sex, this opens the door to the idea of “gender” as something “fluid.” (Dale O’Leary)

If sexuality is left to mean something merely fluid, it will lead to much more confusion about sexuality. When a person does not know who they are but think that their identity is in flux, their whole world does not make sense. They proceed to medicate to avoid the pain. This is why among those who subscribe to the SS lifestyle they have a much higher rate of drug abuse, alcoholism, sexually transmitted diseases, and successful suicide attempts than those who do not participate in SS actions (Catholic Answers, “Gay Marriage,” http://www.catholic.com/library/gay_marriage.asp, 2004.).

Our True Dignity

Instead of using the term “homosexual” or “heterosexual,” we must use the term “person.” As Christ has said “Have you not read that in the beginning he…made them male and female” (cf. Matt 19:3), this is the way we must look at human beings. What we do is not what we are, but our actions flow from our nature. To understand our nature, we must go back to the plan that God has for all people. God created humanity in His image, and in His essence as Trinity, He is Gift. In order for a gift to exist, there must be one who gives, one who receives, and the gift itself. In the Father making a total-self gift of Himself to His Son, who receives this gift, and gives Himself back completely to His Father, who receives Him. The Love between them is actually another Person, the Holy Spirit.

Human beings were created male and female to image the Trinity. God created us to be gifts to one another, and this giftedness is written right into our sexuality. Men, written right in their bodies, are to initiate a gift of themselves; women, written into their bodies, are to receive sincere gifts. Putting this in terms of a genital act, when husband and wife give and receive from each other, they are able to procreate another unrepeatable human being. While the marital act is not the only way in which this image of the Trinity can be revealed, it is fundamentally written into our sexuality.

To deny this truth would do damage to a person. In no way can a person with SSA who acts out on their inclinations image this union of the Trinity. To claim that a person is actually born with SSA is to say that they can never be a gift and that they can never attain the reason they were made. In essence, it would be to condemn them.

The belief that people are “born gay” is a widely misunderstood myth. Alfred Kinsey first reported that ten percent of the population is gay. The actual truth is that the rates are closer to 1-2% of the population. (“Exposed: The Myth that 10% are homosexual,” www.traditionalvalues.org/urban/two.php (Date Accessed:April 4, 2009)). When researcher Simon LeVay found that a part of the hypothalamus of the human brain in the cadavers of men with SSA who had died from HIV-related causes to be different than the hypothalamus of other cadavers, the media immediately picked up on this, saying that this was “proof” of the gay gene. Yet what they did not report that a) LeVay denied that the evidence proved that people were “born gay,” and b) it is possible that it is the HIV virus that caused the difference in their brains (Joseph and Linda Ames Nicolosi, A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality (InterVarsity Press: Illinois, 2002), 55.).

The most damning evidence of all comes from the study on identical twins, where based on the “born gay” theory, if one twin is gay, than the other should also. However, as Dr. Whitehead puts it,

If homosexuality was a biological condition produced inescapably by the genes (such as eye color), then if one identical twin was homosexual, in 100% of the cases his brother would be too. But we know that only about 38% of the time is the identical twin brother homosexual…If one [twin] is homosexual, the other usually is not. (Neil and Briar Whitehead, My Genes Made Me Do It: A Scientific Look at Sexual Orientation (Huntington House Publishers: Lousiana, 1999), 26, in Nicolosi, Joseph, and Linda Ames Nicolosi, A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality (InterVarsity Press: Illinois, 2002), 55.)

The Real Causes

If same-sex attraction does not come from genes, where does SSA come from then? In many of the discussions with those who have same-sex attraction, we discover that something occurred during their formation as a child and/or youth that stunted their sexual development. What psychologists call this is Gender Identity Disorder (GID) (unlike the 1973 removal of same-sex attraction from the DSM by the APA, GID is still viewed as disorder). Starting from between the ages 1 ½ to 3 years old, a child must learn to identify primarily with his sex and disassociate with the other, or they will experience a much more difficult time in learning their masculine identity. This is especially true for boys, for masculinity is something that must be imparted, and for those with GID, they never learned to identify with their father. Many case histories have revealed that when the father is cold and/or distant, and if their mother is overbearing, they have a greater predisposition toward developing same-sex attraction when they are older (this is found to be true in both men and women with SSA). This is due to the fact that the great need for love that they never received from their father was not met in childhood, and they are striving to have this need met in genital relationships with other men. In addition, many of these men and women have a history of abuse as children and teenagers from a member of the same sex, which often leads to acting out genitally later (Dale O’Leary, One Man, One Woman: A Catholic’s Guide to defending Marriage (Sophia Institute Press: United States of America, 2007), 89, 94.).

What is most present in these men and women is that there is a great desire for intimacy. Because we are made to have our gifts received completely, a very high number of those in “committed and exclusive” SSA relationships have to allow for other genital relationships, due to their deep desire to be totally accepted not being met (For example, “New Republic editor Andrew Sullivan admit that for them, “fidelity” does not mean complete monogamy, but just somewhat restrained promiscuity” (Found in Andrew Sullivan, Virtually Normal: An Argument About Homosexuality (New York: Alfred Knopf, 1995).). Yet what is common to that those in “committed” SS relationships is that once they have established a very strong friendship, they stop expressing themselves genitally with their partner. This is radically different from the relationships between men and women, for

As friendship between husband and wife grows over time, complimentarity and mystery remain, and sexual intimacy can become even more satisfying. But as friendship between two men grows, their awareness of each as another man like himself increases, and sexual excitement tends to fade concurrently. (Dale O’Leary, One Man, One Woman: A Catholic’s Guide to defending Marriage, (Sophia Institute Press: United States of America, 2007), 162.)

Thus what men and women with SSA must learn is the true nature of intimacy, which is grounded in friendship.

Real Hope

Thus in order to bring healing and freedom to men and women from same-sex attractions, there are many things that can be done. The first thing that must happen is for them to identify first between a same-sex act and their God-given nature as men and women. Next, because many of the wounds are related to their childhood, it is crucial that they are willing to confront them and get to the root. There are a variety of psychological techniques that can be used to address these traumas. (Visit Narth.com for more info). Third, men and women must establish solid friendships with others. Fourth, this can only be done through the virtue of chastity, which is only made possible with a solid friendship with Jesus Christ, who is the fulfillment of all desire. Only from Him can they reclaim their God-given dignity and will be able to give themselves away in a sincere gift of self.

Bibliography

Catholic Answers. “Gay Marriage.” http://www.catholic.com/library/gay_marriage.asp. 2004.

“Exposed: The Myth that 10% are homosexual,”
http://www.traditionalvalues.org/urban/two.php. Date Accessed: April 4, 2009.

Nicolosi, Joseph, and Linda Ames Nicolosi. A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality.
InterVarsity Press: Illinois. 2002.

O’Leary, Dale. One Man, One Woman: A Catholic’s Guide to defending Marriage. Sophia
Institute Press: United States of America. 2007.

O’Leary, Dale, “Gender vs. Sex,” Class Handout. 2009.

Sullivan, Sullivan. Virtually Normal: An Argument About Homosexuality. New York: Alfred
Knopf. 1995.

Whitehead, Neil and Briar, My Genes Made Me Do It: A Scientific Look at Sexual Orientation.
Huntington House Publishers: Lousiana, 1999.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

VIRTUS: Making the Problem Worse — Part 2 of 2

March 9th, 2009 by Steve Pokorny · Edit Print This Article Print This Article ·ShareThis

Last time we diagnosed some of the main issues of “child-protection” programs like VIRTUS. Today we’re going to discuss the medicine.

Abdicating adult responsibility

The very fact that we feel suspicion and fear are our only allies in the work of protecting children from harm demonstrates a certain hopelessness to combat the root of the problem: a disordered view of human sexuality.

And it’s no wonder. We as a society wallow in a culture of death, where sexual deviancy is rampant and sexual “sins” are celebrated on sitcoms, highlighted by Oprah, and accepted by school districts that throw up their hands and pass out condoms in the face of pre-teen intercourse rates.

It’s often easy to see the problem (if we open our eyes). It’s harder—much harder—to accept our own responsibility for it. The truth is even many “good Christian adults” would find it hard to acknowledge that they’ve been desensitized by the hyper-sexualized themes in our favorite TV shows and popular movies, much less buck the trends by closing our pocketbooks or writing to the stations. Not to mention the numbers in our own camp who battle sexual addictions such as pornography and therefore feel less-than-worthy to take a stand for what they know is right.

So we accommodate the status quo, our complacency allowing society to slide further down the slippery slope. And when the effects of a hypersexualized, limit-free, “nonjudgemental,” gender-confused culture bear fruit in pedophilia, incest, and abuse, we do what? Cry foul and turn all our efforts to protecting children through “safe environment education” that strips them of their innocence?

Is it just me, or is the focus here terribly unbalanced? Instead of focusing on the illness causing the gaping wounds in our culture, partially enabled by our own complacency as adults, we force mere children to help put a Band Aid on the symptoms. Instead of emphasizing the burden of responsibility parents and adults have to create an environment in which children can flourish and develop because their critical needs for healthy touch and affection are met, we emphasize the negative, and subject our little ones to lessons on how to be wary of inappropriate touching from adults. We tell teachers that even innocent hugs are inappropriate. We mandate our diocesan volunteers and workers to cycle through “safe environment training” but allow many of the same to spread teachings (as well as to act openly) in direct opposition to the Church’s teaching on sexuality in classrooms and parishes.

The burden, it seems, falls heavily on the children. Those who need affirming touch and affection for their emotional and psychological growth are deprived of it by adults who, on the whole, prefer sexually explicit entertainment and loose sexual mores over the responsibility and stability of healthy family life.

What happens when these needs of children are not met? What happens to any of us when a particular need is not met in a healthy way? For example, if we skip breakfast and are unable to eat because we are busy all day, when a plate of greasy or otherwise unhealthy food is set before us, our hunger compels us to eat it, despite the diet we originally committed to. Likewise, if these children are deprived of healthy physical affection, they’re going to accept and indeed seek out any physical affection they can get, making them easier prey for abusers—and increasing their chances to become abusers themselves. This does not even mention the amount of children who get into non-marital sexual relations because they have not had a healthy experience of love.

Getting to the Root, Healing the Wound

We cannot afford to let the battle cry of “child protection”—as important as it is—eclipse the need to address the cause of the problem. If the people attending training sessions like the ones put on by VIRTUS come away thinking only of how they can address the symptoms and are oblivious to the disease, it is doing more harm than good. A conversion needs to take place in each heart that leads us to ask not just “How can I protect children?” but “How can I love these children enough to do everything I can, in my own life and in the community around me, to stop this cycle?” And the answer to this question must include

–strengthening traditional family life
–healing sexual wounds
–promoting understanding of the truth of human sexuality
–spreading the message of redemption and hope

Ultimately, any program that will satisfyingly address the root causes of sexual abuse must have its foundations in Theology of the Body. Why? Essential to the message of the Gospel and Theology of the Body is the reality of redemption.

So many people think that the Catholic Church is simply about setting down more and more oppressive rules and to keep us from all of our fun and freedom. In truth, Christ came to “set our freedom free” (Gal 5:1), where by entering into His paschal mystery, through drawing on our Baptismal graces, we can be set free from the chains of lust and love with His perfect love.

Many people think that this is an impossibility, some crazy ideal (even good, “holy” Catholics). John Paul himself answers this accusation by stating:

Only in the mystery of Christ’s Redemption do we discover the “concrete” possibilities of man. It would be a very serious error to conclude… that the Church’s teaching is essentially only an “ideal” which must then be adapted, proportioned, graduated to the so-called concrete possibilities of man, according to a “balancing of the goods in question”. But what are the “concrete possibilities of man?” And of which man are we speaking? Of man dominated by lust or of man redeemed by Christ? This is what is at stake: the reality of Christ’s redemption. Christ has redeemed us! This means that he has given us the possibility of realizing the entire truth of our being; he has set our freedom free from the domination of concupiscence. And if redeemed man still sins, this is not due to an imperfection of Christ’s redemptive act, but to man’s will not to avail himself of the grace which flows from that act. (Veritatis Splendor 103)

In essence, this means that if a person still lusts (which is one of the root causes that drives a person to commit sexual abuse), it is not because Christ doesn’t have the power to take away their lust, but that they need to avail themselves more to His grace and allow Him to continually crucify their fallen desires. Through this gradual process, they can be set free to truly love.

If our bishops really want to end the child sex-abuse crisis once and for all, they need to implement programs that are going to give a holistic approach to sexuality, not ones that create an atmosphere of fear. The programs must provide an adequate anthropology that explains clearly that while we are fallen human beings, “redemption is a truth, a reality, in the name of which man must feel himself called, and “called with efficacy” (TOB 46:4). Sure, this process will take more than a 3-hour Friday night program, but the sacrifice of providing real answers will pay off in the long run. We need child “protection” programs that place Theology of the Body at the core of their pedagogy, so that we can begin to truly build a world that doesn’t simply respect the gift of children, but also the gift of our sexuality.

Without this, we really are just making the problem worse.

Collegiate Sex-Ed

by Ryan T. Anderson
February 03, 2009
Every fall, kids arrive on college campuses and learn that their basic moral intuitions on sexual matters don’t square with the reigning ideas. Thanks to debased campus culture and overreaching on the part of administrators and professors, students are beginning to respond systematically—and they’re having an impact. Here’s how.

No two undergraduate experiences are quite the same. But the undergraduate years are marked by certain commonalities: students are challenged intellectually, socially, and ethically. Long-held beliefs are forced to submit to rational scrutiny. No longer is “that’s just the way we do it” or “that’s just the way I feel about the issue” sufficient. In philosophy classrooms and biology labs, students are expected to slough off the opinions they held in their pre-critical-thinking days and adopt the conclusions of the best arguments. Everything is to be tested, and only the rationally defensible is to be retained.

Most students arrive at college knowing few, if any, of their classmates. Navigating the maze of social expectations and the ensuing climbing of social ladders in a community of strangers, students are forced to ask themselves questions: what type of a person am I; what type do I want to become; and with what type do I want to become friends? For many, this explicit self-examination and social-selection—choosing which finite group of people to befriend from a seemingly limitless pool of possibilities—is a first-time experience. In grade school, junior high, and high school, such choices weren’t quite as necessary—there were certain cliques and people just naturally fell into place. Get to college and you get to reinvent yourself—you have to define yourself one way or another.

No longer living under their parents’ roof, no longer in a supportive school, neighborhood, or church community, students no longer have external supports encouraging them to strive to meet the demands of ethical living—and holding them accountable when they fail. Instead, they find themselves subjected to new forms of pressure: a campus culture that demands conformity as the price of social acceptance, a professoriate that preaches new ethical dogmas, and administrators whose policies recognize no values but legality, liability, and physical health. It’s easy to see how otherwise virtuous students can begin to go astray—and how those already set on a bad path from high school have little hope of reforming themselves.

Yet most students arrive at college completely unaware of the patterns of life that await them. The fact is that many unsuspecting freshmen innocently join sports teams, enter into Greek life, and otherwise expect to lead active social lives, but have little idea of what sexual expectations are awaiting. Once seduced into the campus culture, they find it hard to break free. Even if dissatisfied and unfulfilled, they assume the problem is with them, not the culture. And for those who resist it from the get-go, it’s unclear what the alternative is.

Apart from some religious campuses and religious enclaves on secular campuses, the late teens and early twenties are a bit of a wandering. Sex is to be expected, but with no expectation of commitment, never mind marriage. Those desiring an alternative have no example to look to, no role-models to emulate. Gone are the days of courtship. Gone are the days of dating as an explicit preparation for marriage. Gone are the days of using one’s late adolescence and early adulthood to form the habits, the stable dispositions, the virtues required for healthy male-female relationships—both friendships and marriage. Instead, exploitation looms large. And most marriages fail.

But it only gets worse. Campus officials in lecture halls and administrative offices, rather than challenging debased campus culture, actually aid and abet it. “Abstinence education?” That’s a scientifically disproven method of avoiding pregnancy and disease. A pill and a latex sheath is all you need. “Chastity?” Hardly a virtue, the best moral philosophy and clinical psychology tell us that it’s a vice—an unhealthy attitude of repressing sexual desire, hating one’s body, and viewing sex as dirty. Courtship, dating, marriage, and then sex? All you need are consenting adults (in any number or pairings) to have good sex. And marriage is an outdated ideal anyway.

Most won’t buy that last argument—they still long for a marital relationship, of some sort, at some point. But they don’t know how to get there or what to do now. And anyone entering the secular academy holding anything resembling traditional Judeo-Christian views about sex, marriage, and the human family had better be prepared to meet the challenging questions coming his or her way. Why not pornography and masturbation as an alternative outlet to rape? Why not some pre-marital sex and cohabitation as a means of better getting to know one another, to see if you can live together before the wedding vows, to see if you’re sexually compatible before the wedding night? And even if not as preparation for marriage, why not hook-up just as a sign of temporary affection, and, well, because it’s fun, enjoyable, pleasurable?

Yet it’s not just the hook-up culture. If you think men and women are equal in dignity yet distinct and complementary, bringing unique and special gifts to bear on all aspects of life, expect to be called a sexist. If you think mothering and fathering are different, “parenting” in the abstract doesn’t exist as such, expect to be met with hostility. And if you’re at an Ivy League University and intend on being a mom first and foremost, expect to be told that you’re going to waste your education.

But the worst of all university dogmas to reject is the goodness and worth of the homosexual lifestyle. You think two men or two women can't legitimately enter into a loving and committed relationship? Well, you’re no better than the bigots who opposed interracial marriage. You think a homosexual orientation is intrinsically disordered and homosexual acts are objectively immoral? Can you say “homophobia”? And good luck if you’re someone who experiences same-sex attractions but doesn’t desire to be gay. You will be labeled as self-loathing.

From liberal dogmas on homosexuality to liberationist agendas on sex, feminism and marriage, from the social pressures put on guys and girls to be sexually active to the resulting pornography, masturbation, alcohol, and body-image problems—college campuses aren’t a pretty sight.

After my own four years as an undergraduate at Princeton, the problem was readily apparent to me, and a potential remedy seemed worth trying: rather than cowering away from the liberal orthodoxy on human sexuality, why don’t we subject it to intense, critical, rational scrutiny, expose it as intellectually wanting, and build a social network to oppose it?

February 2005 saw the launch of a new student group at Princeton, the Elizabeth Anscombe Society, named for the famed Cambridge philosophy professor, star student and successor of Ludwig Wittgenstein, and intellectual defender of traditional sexual ethics. The Anscombe Society set for itself a lofty mission:
We aim to foster an atmosphere where sex is dignified, respectful, and beautiful; where human relationships are affirming and supportive; where motherhood is not put at odds with feminism; and where no one is objectified, instrumentalized, or demeaned. We aim to increase the level of respect among members of the university community who disagree on these issues as we explore our common understandings as well as our differences. Lastly, we hope to provide those students who strive to understand, live, and love their commitment to chastity and ‘traditional’ sexual and familial ethics with the support they need to make their time at Princeton the best it can be.
The students who formed the Anscombe Society were tired of being subjected to a dehumanizing campus culture and hoped to point to an alternative, more excellent way. They were tired of the one-sided presentation of academic arguments related to marriage and family life—biased syllabi inside the classroom and monolithic student groups outside the classroom—and so they hoped to balance the intellectual conversation. Lastly, they were tired of an administration that absurdly claimed to be morally neutral when it came to matters of sexuality while consistently promoting liberal and liberationist sexual policies. They were determined to hold the administration accountable and seek change.

To achieve these ends, the Anscombe Society followed a three-pronged approach.

First and foremost, as a group at an academic institution and as heirs of Anscombe’s legacy, the Anscombe Society was about ideas—the give and take of reasons, the making and countering of arguments. Too often the academy has its own orthodoxy on issues of sexuality, and the prevailing orthodoxies are treated as immune from challenge. In classrooms, administrative offices, student groups, and student publications, an unquestionable dogma had been established. The Anscombe Society, through guest lecturers, newspaper op-eds, and discussion groups, provided serious and respectful academic responses and counter-arguments. The scholars they brought to campus to give public lectures made the intellectual case for a traditional conception of human sexuality and the human family from a multi- and inter-disciplinary perspective that drew on outstanding scholarly works of philosophy, theology, ethics, biology, medicine, psychiatry, psychology, economics, and sociology. They created an academic database on their website with the best articles from these same disciplines.

Now, the practical reality on most college campuses is that the main attacks on traditional sexual morality come from the constant onslaught of same-sex marriage advocates and feminists. Just from the need to play defense, these became central issues of response. For a student arriving on campus with basically sound intuitions about these issues—that there’s something to the fact that we come as male and female, something about our sexual differentiation that matters, and something about male and female forming husbands and wives to become fathers and mothers that mattered—but who couldn’t articulate a robust response to the campus LGBT and feminist groups or their ethics and politics professors, the Anscombe Society offered much-needed intellectual support. These students aren’t bigots. These students aren’t misogynists. But those are the charges you’d get if you voiced traditional thoughts on these issues on many elite secular college campuses today.

As the defense of traditional marriage was made, it quickly became apparent that the argument only runs as a conclusion from the underlying principle—virtue—of chastity. And so the Anscombe Society quickly began shifting from just a response to same-sex marriage and anti-feminine feminism to a whole-hearted proposal of chaste relationships as the most fulfilling. The Anscombe Society was committed to presenting the fullness of truth when it came to the intellectual case for the human family. (With one notable exception, the group abstained from taking a position on the issue of contraception.) Intellectual arguments—that was the first prong.

Second, but equally important given the social realities on college campuses, the Anscombe Society set out to form a supportive community. If you’re one of the few who is personally committed to living a chaste life, you can often feel quite alone on a college campus. Don’t get me wrong; it’s not as if everyone is having sex all the time. But it changes the way you approach considering even the possibility of dating at college if you think that all of your potential suitors will eventually get to the point where they’re expecting sexual favors from you. As a result, many chaste students just withdraw. Part of it is that they simply don’t know who the other like-minded students are; part of it is that they think their ideals are outdated on campus, so they never speak up about them—and other like-minded students do the same. And so they never know how many of them are really out there. The Anscombe Society wanted to bring this closeted community out into the open—to get people to meet and know each other, and to provide alternative social activities for those students who didn’t quite enjoy the usual weekend scene of drunken debauchery. One of the best ideas they had was holding a reception for students sponsored by the faculty who affirmed the virtue of chastity and traditional marriage. Robert George, a professor in Princeton’s Politics department, took the lead in hosting the event. The first year there were eight faculty co-hosts. This past year, just four years later, there were just under twenty—even among the professoriate they don’t know how many of them are out there.

The third task was to provide assistance to those students who needed help in meeting the ethical goals they had set for themselves. This proved to be too ambitious, demanding, and technical for a mere student group. Addictions to pornography, body-image problems, same-sex attractions, usually require professional assistance. Not surprisingly, that’s why Princeton has an LGBT Center, a Women’s Center, and various other special centers with full-time staff people to meet the needs of students. Nothing like that exists for students taking the other side of the moral divide on these questions. At Princeton, the Anscombe Society is negotiating establishment of such a center right now.

Predictably, a group like this starting at an Ivy League university made waves. At first it was treated as a novelty. Then some people were threatened by the existence of the group; others were shocked that Princeton would allow a group that held “homophobic” and “anti-woman” views. But within the first couple of months the media started paying attention. Reports began to run in the New York Times, on Jay Leno, and in various social conservative publications and TV shows. The most unusual thing reporters noted about the group was that it wasn’t religious—the students thought reason was on their side.

Along with the media attention came interest from students at other campuses who wanted to start up similar groups. We readily assisted them. Over time it became clear that this assistance couldn’t continue on an informal level, and we organized a 501c3 non-profit group to help provide material support for the groups, and two years ago we hired a full-time employee to launch a national organization called the Love and Fidelity Network that would begin planting similar groups on university campuses in order to create a national network. This fall the Love and Fidelity Network held their first annual conference. A hundred students from twenty schools—including Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Brown, Dartmouth, Columbia, and Cornell—attended. America’s leading scholars on these issues made presentations.

All of that said, there are important lessons to be learned about starting an Anscombe Society. There are pitfalls and mistakes to avoid, based on how similar groups at other campuses have been launched or what a previous model looked like prior to the advent of Anscombe at Princeton.
1. Avoid anything that is too touchy-feely, too cutsey, too first-person personal, confessional, or self-referential. This is to be a serious group of serious ideas.

2. Avoid anything resembling chastity pledges, vows, or rings.

3. Do not sacrifice integrity to numbers. Softening your positions on various controversial issues in an attempt to drive up membership numbers defeats the entire purpose of a group like this. The goal isn’t to be popular; the goal is to provide a robust account of the more excellent way.

4. Be religion-friendly but do not be founded on religious premises or arguments. The purpose of a group like the Anscombe Society is to explain how traditional conceptions of the family and the role of sex within the family are more humanly fulfilling. Focusing on the human sciences—philosophy, sociology, psychology, medicine, biology, law, economics, political theory, etc.—should suffice.

5. Remember the doctrine of the mean: the virtuous positions lies between two vices on either extreme. As such, don’t overreact. Don’t respond to campus culture by going too far in the other direction and returning us to aspects of a previous age that have rightly been left behind. Consider three examples:

a. Sticking with the above: you don’t need to be secularist or anti-religion. There are good theological reasons for the traditional family—and you can include theological reasons as one among many. For example, a panel on religious reasons from across the traditions (Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, etc.) would be effective.

b. Speaking truth in love on the issue of homosexuality is very difficult. There is the temptation to water-down the truth or to express it in a non-loving way. Anti-gay bigotry is real. It is to be avoided.

c. Forcing women back into the home, barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen is not the proper response to the Ivy League professor who looks at you incredulously when you tell her that the most important thing in your life is the desire to be a good mom. Finding creative ways to merge your vocation as mother and vocation as scholar, lawyer, doctor, etc. is the way to go. Modern work schedules and professional life were largely formed around gender arrangements from a time long-ago, and they need not be retained. This is the work for the new feminism.

6. Preaching to the choir is not the same as intellectual engagement with campus culture. There is a time and a place for building up the base and equipping the students with basically sound dispositions with solid argumentation. There is also a need to be provocative and shake other students out of their complacent acceptance of liberal dogma. Finding ways to do this and to meet people where they are is key. The goal is securing intellectual and moral conversion.

7. The focus should be on marriage, not chastity. If people ask, “what’s the Anscombe Society all about,” the answer they should get is: “promoting stable and healthy marriages.” Chastity is the virtue that fosters this—both before and during, both inside and outside of marriage. Emphasize the end goal—the good—that you seek to promote.
The future for groups like these is bright. In response to debased campus culture coupled with overreaching on the part of administrators and professors, students are beginning to respond systematically—and they’re having an impact. I don’t foresee the basic situation changing in the near-term. We’ll continue to have basically decent kids come to college with basically sound intuitions, and then they’ll be bombarded with alternative messages. The need is to equip them with arguments to know that their basic gut instinct about Adam and Steve is correct; that wanting to have a family and be a mom and be educated is OK. The need is to create alternative environments to counter the cultural pressures that can lead passion to override reason, to form communities of virtue.

But meeting this challenge will not be easy. Survey data on the next generation shows views on the family and sexuality that are quite at odds with the vision of Elizabeth Anscombe. To persuade this generation of the truths Anscombe defended, we’ll need a new generation of scholars, from all the academic disciplines, willing to turn their scholarship toward defending the human family and the principles of morality that protect it and the virtues that sustain it. Given our academic setting, it’s fair to encourage all students, especially graduate students, to consider devoting their research to these issues. And professors shouldn’t be afraid to speak out. Elizabeth Anscombe certainly wasn’t.


Ryan T. Anderson is editor of Public Discourse: Ethics, Law, and the Common Good. This essay is adapted from a paper presented at the annual conference of the Center for Ethics and Culture at the University of Notre Dame.

Copyright 2009 the Witherspoon Institute. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Explicit lyrics linked to sex among teens: scientists
Mar 4
Can listening to sexually aggressive lyrics prompt teenagers to have sex at an earlier age?

That's the issue raised by a new study, and it could unleash a fierce debate over whether a teen's music player is potentially risky and -- if so -- what should or can be done about it.

In an unusual piece of research, investigators at the University of Pittsburgh graded the sexual aggressiveness of lyrics, using songs by popular artists on the US Billboard chart.

The lyrics were graded from the least to the most sexually degrading.

They then asked 711 students aged 15 to 16 at three local high schools about their music preferences and their sexual behaviour.

Overall, 31 percent of the teens had had intercourse.

But the rate was only 20.6 percent among those who had been least exposed to sexually degrading lyrics but 44.6 percent among those highly exposed to the most degrading lyrics.

The study's lead author, Brian Primack, said music by itself was not the direct spark for sex but helped mould perception and was thus "likely to be a factor" in sexual development.

"These lyrics frequently portray aggressive males subduing submissive females, which may lead adolescents to incorporate this 'script' for sexual experience into their world view," he told AFP.

The study took social factors, educational attainment and ethnicity into account.

"Non-degrading" lyrics described sex in a non-specific way and as a mutually consensual act, while "degrading" lyrics described sexual acts as a purely physical, graphic and dominant act.

"Lyrics describing degrading sex tend to portray sex as expected, direct and uncomplicated," said the paper, which appeared last week in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine.

"Such descriptions may offer scripts that adolescents feel compelled to play out, whether they are cast in the role of either the female or the male partner."

Steven Martino, author of a study published in 2000 that also made the same association between music and sexual behaviour, said the findings were a wakeup call.

"The need [is] for parents to be aware so that they can place limits and criticise and understand what their children are listening to," said Martino, a behavioural scientist in Pittsburgh with the Rand Corporation.

More than 750,000 American teenagers become pregnant each year, giving the United States one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancies in the rich world, according to figures quoted in the study. Nearly a quarter of all female teenagers in the United States have a sexually-transmitted disease.

Nearly a quarter of a century ago, lyrics by Prince on his album "Purple Rain" prompted wives of senior politicians in Washington, led by Tipper Gore, to set up the Parents Music Resource Center.

They pushed for the music industry to develop guidelines and a rating system for lyrics, similar to the ratings for movies. The system was criticised by many as unworkable and counter-productive, making it more daring for teens to buy songs they deemed taboo.

"Government needs to help parents to regulate the industry," said Helen Ward, president of the Kids First Parents Association of Canada.

Today's technology means it is "physically impossible" for parents to monitor what their children listened to or watched on their MP3, she said.

But Raymond MacDonald, a specialist in music psychology at Glasgow Caledonian University, described it as "a perennial debate that cropped up with artists like Frankie Goes to Hollywood, the Sex Pistols and Elvis Presley before that."

"Do we really need a solution to the problem?", he asked.

MacDonald said that even if every generation rehashes the discussion differently, there's an important difference today: age lines have blurred and now everyone is listening to everything.

"Maybe we should do a study to see if the music has as a bad influence on grandparents," he said wryly.


Copyright AFP 2008, AFP stories and photos shall not be published, broadcast, rewritten for broadcast or publication or redistributed directly or indirectly in any medium


Monday, February 23, 2009

VIRTUS: Making the Problem Worse — Part 1 of 2

as featured on tob.catholicexchange.com

I’ve run into a few conspiracy theorists in my time. You know the type: the hushed tones, furtive glances, the shocking revelations that demand your immediate action and urgent—dare they imply—undivided attention.

Generally, these folks have in mind only one way the problems can be solved. To the unknowing ear, their suggestions can seem compelling, giving one no time to consider the consequences, but simply to act. The current economic stimulus plan would be a prime example of this—yet that’s not the focus of this article.

Recently, I attended a training session that seemed to have an uncannily similar effect on the people around me. What is it we were being told?

  • That anyone can be a sexual predator
  • That “they” can be anywhere
  • That the real cause of sexual abuse is unknown (and that same-sex attraction has nothing to do with it), and therefore we need to be always on the alert
  • That at the earliest sign of suspicion we should report a person to the proper authorities

After the first of the two videos shown that night, the shock and alarm on most faces was evident. The facts of child sexual abuse in the Church had been handily laid out, and they were indeed horrifying.

Reflecting on the whole of the evening’s program, however, I came to the conclusion that if the Church’s response to the clergy sex abuse scandal is limited to the scope of what we learned that night, it is going to make the problem much, much worse.

Taking issue with VIRTUS

The three-hour “child protection” training course I attended that evening was part of the VIRTUS program established by The National Catholic Risk Retention Group. This program was created in response to the clergy sex-abuse scandal in the Catholic Church, and its primary goal is obvious and good: to protect children from sexual abuse.

The name VIRTUS is thus described on the organization’s website:

The word virtus derives from Latin, and means valor, moral strength, excellence, and worth. In ancient times, virtus denoted a way of life and manner of behavior that always aspired to the highest, most positive attributes of people and aspects of human interaction.

There is much to be commended about the intention to protect children from harm, and it is admirable to see the Catholic Church striving to take leadership in this issue, especially when its scope is much broader than the Church itself. However, I have two main complaints with the program as I experienced it:

First, in contrast to VIRTUS’s self-definition, the program did not raise our minds to “a way of life and manner of behavior that always aspired to the highest, most positive attributes of people and aspects of human interaction.”

Rather, it compelled us to act out of fear and suspicion—hardly the building blocks for flourishing human community.

Second, in focusing solely on the defensive protection of children, instead of incorporating a holistic approach to human sexuality and healthy touch, the program threatens to raise yet another generation of screwed up, sexually and emotionally starving persons who engage in deviant sexual behaviors as a result.

Let’s flesh these out.

God has not given us a spirit of fear

“For Freedom’s sake, Christ has set us free” (Gal. 5:1). Christ came to set us free from sin and we have truly been redeemed. Yet for what end? To enter into deeper communion with Himself, as well as with others. Think about it. Jesus Christ died to restore our friendship with God, which includes restoring the original unity our first parents had with each other before the Fall.

Certainly, we live in a broken world where not all has been redeemed. I am not advocating that we do not punish those who have sexually abused kids, or that we shouldn’t be wise as serpents (cf. Matt 10:16) in realizing how far the pornified culture has affected “good” Catholics. But we must also be as innocent as doves, and instead of creating a culture of suspicion, just waiting for a person to make a mistake so we can crucify them, we must take a more proactive approach.

It is imperative that any program responding to child sex abuse avoid using fear and suspicion as its main motivators. Certainly, we are going to experience these feelings, but for our response to be truly Christ-like, we also have an obligation to love (as stated in 1 John 4:18: “true love casts out all fear”) and to seek to bring the truth of Christ’s redemption to bear on the realities we encounter. While healthy awareness and observant behaviors are important for training ourselves and our children to prevent occasions of abuse, we must always approach this subject first through the lens of love and healthy respect for our own bodies and sexuality and for the other people with whom we come in contact.

Specifically in regard to the misuse of one’s sexuality, John Paul the Great teaches us in his Theology of the Body to avoid becoming “Masters of Suspicion.” I fear programs like VIRTUS, especially when aimed at a largely uncatechized crowd, encourage this dangerous line of thought.

A “Master of Suspicion” is one who, due to his (or her) own experience of concupiscence, lust, and his own sins, suspects the worst of everyone—“If I can’t look at a women wearing skintight jeans without lusting after her, surely the men around me have the same struggles, too.” One major reason for this is that they have only experienced a broken sexuality and they think this is the only way we can view the world. I can’t help but feel that those who had a hand in designing the VIRTUS program are from this camp and thus encourage attendees to see things through this limited perspective.

So many good and faithful priests have fallen under the undue burden of suspicion because of the exaggerated and unbalanced publicity about the clergy sex scandals. These men have been effectively stripped of their abilities to be fathers to the people, especially the children, in their care. They feel unwelcome to interact with children and young people on a meaningful personal level, hindering their ability to be mentors and role models, especially for young men who might otherwise consider the priesthood.

Heightened fear and suspicion, not tempered by truth and love, also increase the likelihood that reputations will be unfairly impugned, causing irreparable damage to a priest’s ability to carry out his vocation—and this applies to others who are not clergy as well.

Fear and suspicion cannot be our primary motivators when trying to rectify this situation. We must always ground our hearts in the truth that love redeems and sanctifies, even in the midst of threatening, confusing situations. We cannot lose sight of this truth, for the sake of our children, and for sake of our society that depends on healthy interpersonal relationships. This is true whether we’re teaching children how to navigate in this often dangerous world, whether we’re in the process of healing victims of abuse, or whether we’re reaching out to rehabilitate—or forgive—abusers.

Next time we’ll look at the underlying causes to the sexual abuse scandal, as well as layout what must be present in any “child-protection” program in order to truly prevent this from happening in the future.

Steve Pokorny, the Director of TOB Ministries (tobministries.com), specializes in speaking to youth and young adults about the gift of their sexuality. Steve has an MA in Theology and Catechetics from Franciscan University of Steubenville, received training from the Theology of the Body Institute, and will be completing his studies at the John Paul II Institute for Marriage and Family Studies in 2009. He is associate editor for Catholic Exchange's Theology of the Body Channel (tob.catholicexchange.com), and his blog is truesexualrevolution.blogspot.com. You can contact Steve at tob_ministries@yahoo.com.